2026/05/06 Lack of Friend and Familial Support
‘If you write a book, don’t tell anyone,’ says one writer on Medium. And she isn’t alone. The #WritingCommunity on Twitter is full of similar horror stories.
Friends and family members often tend to offer condescension to aspiring writers in the name of well-meaning advice. You know what kind of advice. The ‘You will never make money out of writing’ or ‘You have a good job. Why not just focus on that?’ Some proceed to laugh and make jibes. Because, by revealing our passion, haven’t we exposed ourselves as failures in the making?
These experiences may not be universal, but most writers would have had some of them at some point, usually just when they are starting. It is not very different from telling someone you intend to start a business. People who would otherwise rave about their favorite authors or post quotes from famous entrepreneurs suddenly turn hyper-conservative gurus when you reveal your own plans.
One might ask oneself: Why? Where did I go wrong? Am I really making a mistake investing so much in writing? What if they are right, and I end up making a fool of myself? Before spiralling down this road, it might be a good idea to pause and breathe. Separate delusion from reality.
Do you plan on writing books as your sole source of income? If yes, statistically, the odds of success might be against you, and you might want to listen to other people.
But the chances are that you already know that. You are already aware of the struggles of being a writer and do not glorify them. Instead, you want to pursue writing as a means to channelise your passions. Which means you fully intend on being a contributing member of society, just one with an inner life. And they shouldn’t have a problem with that, right?
For all you know, some might. Some might not care what your intentions are, as long as they get the opportunity to seize the moral high ground. So be it. What really matters is that you know what you are doing and what you seek.
Do you seek early feedback from friends or family? Well, good luck with that. You may have better luck exchanging feedback with other writers or voracious readers. They are easy to find online and often pose little risk for good quality feedback. Often free of cost and free of judgment.
Do you seek support from friends and family because you want to confide your dreams with someone? In that case, one may be better off joining like-minded people online. There are hundreds of thousands of them.
Or better still, accept the fact that writing is a solitary activity, one full of loneliness and rejection. Facing this truth will free you from the pressures of impressing others, be it friends, family, or readers, and enjoy writing.
And the next time a friend or family member tells you they are writing a book, before launching into the economics and morality of their interest, maybe just say, ‘Oh, nice.’ If you are not up for much else.
This article is researched and composed by Saily Bhagwat.